Nicolas Greenwood

To Styx

Dear Styx,

you are my ever-present, awful
and loveliest solace. My dreams of bathing
in your gray, leaden waters are sweet
—only the leap frightens me more
than the uncertainty of living tomorrow.

Because your water is opaque
and thick, molten metal;
and because from the place
beneath your waters no eye can see
I dream of immersion
below your waves.

Because your current is quiet
and never disturbs,
and your temperature colder
than I can feel on my skin
I gaze, undecided
on the rail of the bridge.

Styx, you tempt me
but more than this, you vex me
with that slow, quiet lapping
of your syrupy waves on the skulls of men.
And Styx, my friend, you tell me
in that sweet and rich but nauseating voice
promises I know you cannot keep.

With wind in my face I reel from the railing
—this wind that’s blowing blows me away
from your waters, dear Styx, so adieu, my friend!
The earth has spoken and demands me to stay.

To Styx

About This Poem

It can be deceptively easy to lose hope and a generally positive view of the future. To truly empathize with someone suffering from depression, you have to understand their perspective and way of thinking. One common misconception is that depressed individuals are afraid of taking their own life. More often than not, the exact opposite is the case—in their perceived situation, thoughts of self destruction are seen as a way out, and thus soothing and even pleasant.

There was a bridge over a river not far from my home I would sometimes stand on and watch the water below me. It was eerily consoling.

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